All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
