Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
