In the future we'll all be gay
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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