so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
