His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
