how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
