booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
