Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
