Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hippo gnu deer
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
