He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
