Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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