But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
