I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize