Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
