my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
only you would photoshop your dick
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
