i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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