can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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