Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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