The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
