You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
