What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
