hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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