He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
