forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize