Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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