i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
