I wish I could teleport
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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