don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm just crazy horny about you
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
