I'm drive I can fine osifer
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
