I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
