we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
there is glitter all over my balls
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