worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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