he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
