dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
