I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
