was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
