I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize