If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
