It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
