Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
