butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
