Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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