Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
