I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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