I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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