my room smells like sperm. sweet.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
