The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
