Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
