awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
