we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
