Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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