could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
