My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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