Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
