So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
