the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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