I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
