people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
